Dear Depression,
It has been a long time since I have seen you. I have to say - it was a little surprising to see you. I honestly didn't think I would see you again. Like an old friend, it was nostalgic to see you and be in your presence. A lot of memories of us together in the past came rushing back. You have changed a lot since I last saw you, it took me a while to recognize you. My life has been pretty good since I last saw you. I still think about you sometimes but honestly, not a lot. After our last breakup, I have made a conscious effort to keep you out of my mind and just try to move forward without you. It was a little comforting to see you again as well as discomforting. I feel that I have changed a lot since we last saw each other as well. I have grown up. I have a family now, I have a different job, I have moved - in fact I am surprised you were able to track me down. I am in a completely different place than I was last time we were together. But I guess that just speaks to your perseverance and commitment. I have used many methods to leave you behind but it appears you don't wont disappear that easily..... or maybe I like having you around?
It was nice to catch up but it just isn't the same. The way you make me feel isn't the same as it was before. I am not comfortable with it. I honestly don't feel like I can maintain this friendship going forward. I know there will be an urge for you to pop in and catch up but I just don't think that is something I would enjoy. We both have changed - we both have better things to do. I feel I have given you everything I can - I have nothing left to give to you. This is personal. I personally don't want you or need you in my life. it frustrates me to think you can waltz into my life whenever you want to and think you can jump in and fuck up my life. I can't allow that to happen anymore. I will not allow that. You did make me feel something that I have never felt before. But you also made me do things that I am no longer comfortable with. I no longer want to have those feelings. So i am writing you this letter to tell you I am done. This is the end of the line for us. No more will I listen to your dark thoughts and attempts at control. I will no longer be susceptible to your seductive and mysterious nature and presence. I know you will try because that is just who you are but I have all my senses on alert for you. I will NOT allow you back into my life, regardless of how you try to manifest or disguise yourself. This is me telling you - Fuck off. You are not welcome here. This is goodbye. Forever.
Your old friend ,
Justin
No comments:
Post a Comment